Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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