Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
