i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
