You don't have asthma, your pregnant
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
