dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
