I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
