5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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