Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
