i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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