What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
what is it with giant penises always finding me
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
