I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
