Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
