Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
love makes seman taste better
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
