so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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