She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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