South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
