and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
