Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
FUCK WHALES
I know her cup size but not her name....
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