it was like his penis was on wheels.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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