okay pat passed out under dana's car
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
