We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
