That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
