Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
