found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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