I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
