did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
