every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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