I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i think my tv is drunk
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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