Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
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Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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