Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
