Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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