I CAN MOONWALK!
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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