Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
