Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
