I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
