At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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