I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
