just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
