C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
