I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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