Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
