Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
