So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
