You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
