dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm just crazy horny about you
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
