I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
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By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
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Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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