I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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