I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
