ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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