i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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