I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I can text with my tongue
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
