What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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