You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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