I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
