My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
