Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
