And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
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He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
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I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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