I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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