did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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