I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
