You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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