Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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