All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
