This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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