I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
