I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize