We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
