dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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