Grow some girl-balls and come out already
P.S. I can't hear my feet
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
