so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
It's rum buckets o'clock
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
